It was when I finished high school that I really saw what was in store for me. Where I grew up it was the steel mills or the automotive industry that paid the wages. Those were some of the better paying jobs that would allow you to buy a home and start a family. The writing was on the wall for me and I left for California. It was always sunny and bright there, you could drive your car right thru one of those great big redwood trees and there was the ocean, there were more opportunities. I set out to find myself in California. Thus, began my search not only for myself but my purpose in life.

I carried with me the notion that everything was going to be a challenge and believe me it was. I lived in my VW bug and looked for a job. I worked lots of jobs from the passport agency to waitress and bartending and earned enough money for my first apartment. I furnished my apartment with orange crates, bought some wood and made a frame for my waterbed, used candles until I could afford to have the utilities turned on and slowly moved up from there. The harder I worked the better I would be. While all of this was going on in my life I thought I was also challenged with my intuition, I just knew things, a feeling like I wanted to jump out of my skin, like somehow I was running with my inner switch stuck in the “on” mode, I was full of energy, just turned on and ready to go all the time. I would close my eyes and see pictures and I just wanted it to all go away.

I experimented with my share of drugs and alcohol in hopes that it would all go away or at least I would have a rest from it all and still continued to search for who I was and what my purpose was. The harder I tried to find myself the worse things got. I actually hit rock bottom in my life and that was when I met the Shaman and my life started to change. His name was Custer and he was a Shaman a Chocktaw Indian Medicine Man. He took one look at me and said “love, I have been waiting a long time for you” He had me close my eyes and he told me what I was seeing when my eyes were closed and I felt such a sigh of relief, it was like someone finally understood what was going on inside of me. It was like this huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders and I almost felt free. I was the fourth and the last of those he taught, though he would later say he never taught me a thing that it was all inside of me, he just made me look inside to find it.

It seems everyone is born with the same abilities as I have, some more awake then others. Mine happened to be wide awake.

I began to understand about energy and how pretty much everything is energy including your thoughts, feelings, emotions and how energy creates matter. I started to realize how my thinking was creating my life. If I believed it was going to be difficult it was. That was quite a turning point in my life to realize that I had control over my life and my destiny. I also realized how dependent I was on everything in the outside world, from my happiness, my self worth, security, love and how vulnerable that made me feel. Since free will exists it was pretty shaky ground to be counting on the world out there and the people in it for my happiness. I really began to realize myself at a much deeper level and with this realization my consciousness continued to expand. Things started becoming much clearer to me. All the ah ha’s were like gifts, it was like the fog had been lifted. I started realizing how so much of what I was feeling was not mine. I had spent, as we all do, years of modeling my parents and the outside world and I was finally beginning to realize who “I” was.

Throughout all the traveling I did with Custer and the years I spent with him I learned so much about energy and the healing process. I have taken what I know and what I have learned from my own experiences in life and look at the healing process in a new light. With that experience I found myself, I had always been there, just a bit covered up with things I had collected throughout my life. I have been honored to have experienced two enlightened beings in my life that were directly responsible for my expansion of consciousness

It has been through my experience and self realization that I have come to work with clients to help you find your own answers, to look within, if you are willing to do that. We spend so much of our time looking outside of ourselves for answers when they have been right here all the time. We just did not know to look inside.